


Talk Dirty To Me

by whatthekey (sardothien)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 21:45:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3544886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sardothien/pseuds/whatthekey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In retrospect, Joonmyun should have really seen it coming, but he did not see himself literally <i>coming</i>, and definitely not in his pants in the middle of a recording studio either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk Dirty To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for [](http://immorte.livejournal.com/profile)[immorte](http://immorte.livejournal.com/) as part of [](http://suholiday.livejournal.com/profile)[suholiday](http://suholiday.livejournal.com/) round 2!

Joonmyun desperately does not want the elevator to be full. And because he desperately does not want it, of course when the doors finally slide open, there's no room for him. And Joonmyun, who is fifteen minutes late to a meeting with his boss, is not happy.

"Shit shit shit shit shit," he mutters under his breath as he takes the five flights of stairs, two at a time. In his haste he nearly barrels over an unfortunate intern, but he doesn't have the time to apologize before he swings out into the corridor and down into Lu Han's office.

"You're late," Lu Han says brightly. He doesn't look like he's angry, but Joonmyun knows better than to assume that he's off the hook. At the same time, it's hard to take Lu Han seriously when every five hours he's sending Sehun on Starbucks runs to bring him increasingly more complicated drinks. Lu Han takes a long sip as he watches him sit down.

"I know," Joonmyun replies curtly. "Sorry about that."

Lu Han waves his hand back and forth dismissively. "Don't worry about it. I just wanted to talk about your next project."

"I hope you haven't forgotten what happened with my last one," Joonmyun interjects. "My last time in the studio—"

"We've taken it all into consideration," Lu Han tells him in what's probably supposed to be a reassuring tone. "It's not going to happen again."

Joonmyun sits back, nodding. "So?"

Lu Han smiles blithely at him, and it's mildly terrifying. "Have you ever heard of ''Throbbing Hearts Love Medicine'?"

Joonmyun has to fight hard to keep a straight face. "It sounds like a bad shoujo anime filled with a lot of pretty boys," he manages to get out without laughing.

Lu Han's smile grows bigger. "That's exactly what it is. It's one of Studio Deen's more recent releases, and they want to send it here for a Korean dub, which is where you come in."

Joonmyun raises his eyebrows. "You want me to supervise the Korean dub of a _shoujo anime_?"

"It's… a bit _different_ , let's say," Lu Han says, still with that strange smile. "There's a screening going on upstairs if you want to check it out. Kyungsoo will meet you there to fill you in on the rest."

Joonmyun winces as he leaves. Kyungsoo is the studio's executive sound technician, infamous for his short temper. He's irritable on his best days and an absolute nightmare on his worst; Joonmyun's sincerely hopes that Kyungsoo's in a good mood today because he doesn't want to have to deal with more headaches than usual.

Standing in front of the screening room, Joonmyun inputs his employee code before pushing the door open, and two things happen.

The first is that Joonmyun realizes that the screening room is not empty, and the person sitting in one of the chairs is in fact _very attractive_ —a slim young man with gently curling burgundy hair and high, sloping cheekbones.

The second is when Joonmyun tunes into the sounds of high-pitched whining filling his ears and his eyes flick up to the projection screen, which was playing a censored scene that looked like it was straight out of a hentai anime. It takes another two seconds to realize that both of the characters on screen were _male_ , and that's when it hits him: he had just walked into a _yaoi love scene_ —he'd just walked in on a terribly gorgeous stranger _watching_ a yaoi love scene.

Joonmyun lets out a small confused cry, and the young man turns around curiously to peer at him. Joonmyun swears internally, because the kid's lips are pink and soft looking and his lashes are ridiculously long. He staggers backwards, intending to leave the room as quickly as his legs would let him.

"Hold on, you," says an irritated voice, and then Kyungsoo is grabbing his arm to steer him around. "Where do you think you're going?"

"There's been a scheduling error, Kyungsoo," Joonmyun says weakly. "The projection room is being used for something else right now."

Kyungsoo frowns up at the projection—unfazed by the smaller male on screen kneeling to suck a (censored) cock and the obscene slurping noises coming from the speakers—and then back down at his clipboard. "No, this is definitely the right time slot."

Joonmyun stares blankly at him. He feels faint, and the lewd sounds of sex behind him aren't helping in the slightest. "What?"

Kyungsoo ignores him, instead beckoning the stranger over. " _Throbbing Hearts Love Medicine_ ," he reads from his notes, "'A fiery hot new tale of passion from the studio that brought you _Junjou Romantica_. Sugiyama Keita, 18, has a rare medical condition that can only be cured with renowned doctor Yamanaka Hideki's unique special cure.'" Kyungsoo looks up from his clipboard with a bored expression. "Got it?"

And then Joonmyun begins to put two and two together. "Oh my god…."

"This is Kim Jongdae," Kyungsoo continues, and Joonmyun's stomach bottoms out. "He'll be voicing Keita. You'll meet Hideki's voice actor tomorrow when we start recording."

Jongdae's face lights up at the introduction, and his lips curl into an adorable smile.

"Nice to meet you, sunbaenim!" he chirps, and Joonmyun has to resist the urge to run like hell out of there because Jongdae's voice is just as adorable as his face.

"I'm pretty new to this industry," Jongdae continues shyly (and Joonmyun notices faintly that his lips pout a little when he talks), "so please take good care of me."

Joonmyun can only gape at him stupidly. Kim Jongdae is absolutely precious—small, tiny body, cute face, and even cuter voice. Joonmyun weakly glances back at the projection screen. Hideki now has Keita on all fours as he slams into his ass, the noises coming from Keita's mouth suffusing a warm, furious flush over Joonmyun's face. Joonmyun looks back to Jongdae, who smiles at him brightly, and Joonmyun wants to ram his head into the wall.

 _I'm fucked_ , he thinks desperately.  
  
  


❖

  
  
  
"I'm going to _strangle_ Lu Han," Joonmyun hisses, storming into his office and startling Jongin, his intern, into dropping the stack of papers he was copying. "If this is his sick idea of a joke, I'm poisoning all of his crappy Starbucks drinks."

Jongin is in the middle of gathering up all the papers he dropped. "It's okay, hyung," he offers, standing up. "I'm sure it won't be that bad. Maybe just a little bit awkward in the beginning."

Joonmyun runs an agitated hand through his hair. "Just because he knows I'm desperate for a promotion doesn't mean he can drop this kind of bomb on me. I have to listen to this kid _moan_ into a studio mic for God knows how long."

"Well, the timeline says to expect about two weeks per episode," Jongin reads off Joonmyun's computer screen. "So given that this series is three OVAs long, we'll be done in about a month and a half."

"Great," Joonmyun mutters darkly. "Just what I need, a month and a half long boner."

Jongin raises an eyebrow at him. "Sorry?"

Joonmyun clears his throat, cheeks flushing warm. "N-nothing," he says quickly. "Can you pull up the—"

He's interrupted by knocking on his office door. Jongin looks over at him, confused, and walks to answer it when Joonmyun shrugs.

"Oh," Jongin says intelligently, and Joonmyun frowns, standing up to see who he's talking to. "You're— _oh._ "

Joonmyun's question is answered when Jongdae wanders in with wide, curious eyes followed by an annoyed looking Kyungsoo.

"Kyungsoo-hyung," Jongin mumbles, turning a weird shade of purple.

"Yes yes," Kyungsoo says irritably before turning to Jongdae. "Joonmyun-ssi's office is on the _second_ floor, not third, can you try to remember next time?"

"Sure thing!" Jongdae replies brightly, seemingly unaware of the fact that Kyungsoo is glaring at him like he's a moron. It's all Joonmyun can do to not break down from how cute he is. "Thanks again!"

"Now if you don't mind," Kyungsoo says icily. "I'm going to borrow your intern, Joonmyun, because for some reason mine is no where to be found."

"Go ahead," Joonmyun says wearily, rubbing his temples. Zitao was probably hogging the screening room to marathon Fruits Basket and Instagramming his various reaction selcas at pivotal parts of the plot, but Joonmyun knew better than to tell Kyungsoo that.

Jongin squeaks as Kyungsoo digs his fingers into his arm and drags him off with a dry "I'll try to return him in one piece," and Joonmyun turns his attention to Jongdae.

"Did you need something?"

Jongdae shakes his head, beaming broadly. "No, not really! I just wanted to say thank you for this opportunity, and that I really look forward to working with you!"

"Ah." Joonmyun scratches his head awkwardly. Jongdae's enthusiasm is really overwhelming. "Hopefully we'll be able to finish the project on time."

It seems that Jongdae's only half paying attention to him, instead taking the opportunity to peer around at everything cutely. "Your office is really nice, sunbae!"

"Er, thanks." Joonmyun has never experienced anything like this, being at such a loss for words around a person, especially when said person is really fucking adorable. "My boss has a bigger office. This is nothing, really—"

"No no," Jongdae insists, plopping himself down to sit in one of the guest chairs on the other side of Joonmyun's desk. "This is just the right size, I like it!"

Joonmyun blinks at him. "Um. You're welcome to come in whenever you want."

"Really?" Jongdae's eyes are round and shiny. "You're the best, sunbae! Do you want a panda?"

"You're welc—sorry, a _what_?"

"A panda!" Jongdae's laugher positively bubbles out of him as he brandishes the violently pink box. "Strawberry flavored Hello Panda!"

"I—" Joonmyun shakes his head fervently. "No, that's alright, thank you."

Jongdae hums happily, popping another panda cracker into his mouth. "Okay then! I actually don't really like strawberry that much, but they're pink, so—"

Joonmyun stares blankly at him, the entire conversation going way over his head. He was barely paying attention to what Jongdae was saying—more focused on trying to comprehend that Kim Jongdae was actually _real_ and not just an overly cute robot sent there by Lu Han to make his life hell. Also Jongdae's jeans fit him really tightly in the crotch area, but it's not like Joonmyun was looking there. Nope, not at all.

Meanwhile, Jongdae _still_ wasn't leaving, and Joonmyun frowns, unsure of how to get him out of his office. "Well," he begins slowly. "If that's all…"

Jongdae looks up to give him the most pitiful pout and Joonmyun has to bite back his words. "Ah, sunbae, can I stay here for a little while? I'm supposed to be meeting a friend but he's running late. Just for a little bit, pleeease."

Joonmyun's not sure how he's supposed to say no, not when Jongdae is looking at him like _that_ , and mentally smacks himself for not having more control. "S-sure—"

The next twenty minutes is definitely not spent covertly glancing over at Jongdae perched in his chair and playing a game on his cell phone. Every so often Jongdae makes a little noise that—if Joonmyun wanted to torture himself by closing his eyes and imagining _really hard_ —could sound entirely sexual, and Joonmyun has to fight all urges to slam his face into his desk. When Jongdae's friend finally arrives with a happy little ding of a text message, Joonmyun _definitely_ is not staring at his ass as he leaves. (But Jongdae really did have a nice ass.)

Joonmyun leaves himself after an hour more of work. There's a sharp crunch under his shoe as he exits his office, and upon further inspection he discovers the remains of what used to be a strawberry-filled Hello Panda cracker smushed to pieces on his carpet. Joonmyun sighs heavily, leaning down to brush the crumbs off the bottom of his foot. There was no getting away; Jongdae's cute was slowly spreading everywhere.

  
  


❖

"Alright, Jongdae-ssi, can you try that one more time?" Kyungsoo adjusts a couple of the slides on his soundboard and rewinds the clip on the small TV screen in front of them.

Jongdae smiles brightly from behind the studio window. "No problem!"

Joonmyun stares resolutely at the floor as Jongdae runs through the scene again. They're barely two hours into Day 1 of recording and already he wants to bang his head against a wall. It's even worse than he'd imagined—Jongdae's voice gets higher and whinier when voice acting for Keita, and this was only the first episode where all the flirting between Keita and Hideki is relatively mild. Joonmyun's not sure how he's going to make it through the entire month and a half without going insane.

"Sunbae? Sunbae!"

Joonmyun jerks his head up towards where Jongdae was waving at him from behind the glass.

"How was that, sunbae!"

"Uh." Truth be told, Joonmyun hadn't even been paying attention. But Jongdae's face is excited and eager to please, so he shrugs and gives him a nod. "It was good! Great work."

"Personally," calls a voice from the other side of the studio. "I think we should do the scene once more, just to be sure."

Jongdae tears his eyes away from Joonmyun to quirk a grin at the tall, blond man. "No one asked you, Yifan. Joonmyun-sunbaenim said it went just fine."

The man scowls and shakes his bangs out of his face. "For the _last_ time, my name is _Kris_ , and personally I don't think we should be valuing your flirting over—"

"Yeah, yeah." Jongdae's eyes flick back over to Joonmyun, and for a second Joonmyun's almost sure that there's a blush dusting his cheeks. Jongdae bites his lip before turning back to the mic, smiling to himself, and Joonmyun can't help the swooping he feels in his stomach.

  
  


❖

 _You have_ got _to be kidding me_ , Joonmyun thinks in disbelief, staring down at his phone screen.

It's day 3 of recording. He had been on his way to the studio when Lu Han had sent him the message.

_venti hazelnut frap, xtra whip cream pls ^-^ xoxo_

Joonmyun shakes his head as he ducks into a Starbucks, unsure of why Lu Han was suddenly forcing him to do Sehun's job but decidedly not questioning it. Joonmyun sighs heavily. The things he'd do for a promotion, really.

He's too occupied with puzzling it over that he accidentally bumps into someone walking away from the register. It isn't until he hears a familiar high-pitched yelp that Joonmyun looks up to see a stricken-looking Jongdae staring down at a barely touched muffin that now lay on the floor.

"My _muffin_ ," Jongdae whines, looking positively anguished, and he sounds so genuinely distressed that Joonmyun's suddenly overcome by a wave of intense guilt.

"Shit, Jongdae, I'm so sorry, I—" Joonmyun stammers as Jongdae gives him the most pathetic wet kitten face ever, and all at once his guilt multiplies by tenfold. Damn that adorable kitty mouth. "I'll buy you another one."

Jongdae shakes his head, pouting. "But that was the last one."

And lo and behold, Joonmyun sees, glancing over to the pastry display—it really was. "Um," he begins. Jongdae's still looking at him like he took his favorite toy away and Joonmyun's really not built to handle this much cute. "Tell you what, Jongdae, I owe you one, okay?"

"Really?" If Jongdae had animal ears, they'd sure as hell be perking up right now. It's unsettling how helpless Joonmyun finds himself around him.

"Really," Joonmyun tells him seriously, and he's relieved to see Jongdae beam brilliantly back at him. "Just—give me a sec while I get this thing, and then we'll head to the studio."

Jongdae waits happily in one of the plush armchairs while Joonmyun orders Lu Han's mess of a drink, then follows him out the door like an excited child.

"Are you always this cheerful in the mornings?" Joonmyun asks him, bemused, watching him bounce into step beside him.

Jongdae's eyes flutter shut as he laughs, and Joonmyun tries not to stare at his long eyelashes. "No," Jongdae says, coloring slightly. "But now I have sunbaenim to walk me to work! So of course I'm happy!"

Joonmyun flushes under the compliment. "Hyung," he says finally. "Just call me hyung," he elaborates, and can't help his small smile when Jongdae bites his lip, looking pleased.

They're at the studio now, and Jongdae's already veering left to head to the recording studio, but Joonmyun makes a beeline for the elevator instead.

"Hyung? You're not coming?"

"You go ahead," Joonmyun says, pressing the button for the fifth floor and gesturing to the drink in his hand. "I need to give this to Lu Han."

"Oh, I'll come with you!" Jongdae answers quickly, and squeezes in next to him before the elevator doors slide shut.

"You really don't have to," says Joonmyun awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "This won't take long."

But Jongdae gives him another sunny smile, and all further protests get stuck in his throat. "It's okay! We're early anyways, and I have nothing else to do." When Joonmyun doesn't respond, Jongdae stretches, making a small cat-like whine that slides all the way down Joonmyun's spine. There's a small strip of skin from underneath his t-shirt that peeks out when Jongdae lifts his arms, and Joonmyun determinedly looks away, face hot.

Lu Han looks up when they walk in, and his face splits into that terrifying smile again. "Ah, I see you've met!"

"Of course we've met," Joonmyun replies testily, handing over his coffee. "Considering recording started two days ago."

"Mmm," is Lu Han's only reply, taking a long sip while flicking his eyes back and forth between the two of them. He smacks his lips. "You forgot the extra whip cream."

Joonmyun sighs. "Why am I doing Sehun's job again?"

Lu Han ignores him. "Take good care of Joonmyun-ssi, okay? He's really tightly wound," he says sweetly to Jongdae, who nods earnestly. Joonmyun scowls.

"I will!" Jongdae says, grinning.

Joonmyun has to resist the urge to drag his hands over his face. "I'm going to my office."

Lu Han smiles wickedly at him as he leaves, and Joonmyun rolls his eyes.

Jongdae scurries out after him.

"You should really go to the studio," Joonmyun tells him, already knowing that it was pointless.

"Ah," Jongdae's voice has a teasing lilt to it. "But you said I could come into your office anytime I wanted~"

"Oh right," Joonmyun replies dully, unlocking his office door. Jongdae waltzes in happily. "How could I forget."

Miraculously enough, he manages to not pay too much attention to Jongdae as he rummages through his things, but once he sits down in his chair to see Jongdae ogling him quite blatantly, it becomes increasingly more difficult for him to ignore.

Joonmyun clears his throat. "So, uh. What made you decide to try out for this?"

"Hm?" Jongdae's now examining a painting on the wall with interest. "Oh. It's because I really like Keita."

Joonmyun was in the process of turning back to his computer but swivels around so fast he nearly gives himself whiplash. "Wait. You _knew_ this plot already?"

"Yeah," Jongdae says absently. His face is one hundred percent straight. "I watch a lot of anime."

Joonmyun feels faint. This should be nothing weird, considering Joonmyun watches a lot of anime too; it's one of the main reasons he ended up working at the studio, because being surrounded by a bunch of diehard otakus was a pretty a-ok way to make a living in his book. But watching a lot of anime and _watching a lot of anime like 'Throbbing Hearts Love Medicine'_ were two very different things, and there's a weird feeling in his gut that has very little to do with having eaten nothing for breakfast. "R-really now."

"Mmmm. I like this picture," Jongdae says, pointing.

Joonmyun barely glances at it, his mind racing. The idea that Jongdae watches hentai on a regular basis sends an uncomfortable rush of blood down south. _Fuck_ , he thinks to himself desperately, _not now_. But even as he tries to will the mental images away, he's suddenly imagining Jongdae perched in front of his computer with a hand down his pants and muffling whines into his sleeve, and then Joonmyun's dick is swelling in his jeans. Fuck fuck fuck. _Fuck_.

"Hyung?" Jongdae's waving a hand in front of him. "Yoohoo~ I asked you where you got it!"

"I—s-sorry!" Joonmyun's face is hot and flushed when he finally looks at the painting Jongdae was gesturing at. "It's—oh. Lu Han has a really weird sense of decor." He almost lets out a sob of relief when his dick wilts immediately at the thought of Lu Han's cracked out smile, and he presses his legs together, shaking his head.

Jongdae cocks his head at him, about to open his mouth, but Joonmyun beats him to it.

"It's time to go to the studio!" he says way too quickly, and he's gathering his things before Jongdae can say anything else.

Joonmyun's pretty sure Jongdae's laughing at him the entire way back to the studio, but he walks faster so that he doesn't have to look at him and misses the endeared smile Jongdae has on his face.

"About time," Kyungsoo grumbles when they walk in, Jongdae entering the recording booth and Joonmyun settling down on the other side of the window. "I was about to make Yifan do both parts and that wouldn't have been pretty."

" _Kris_ ," Yifan corrects into his mic, but they all ignore him.

"Sorry," Joonmyun says hastily, dropping his stuff onto the chair. "Got held up by Lu Han."

Kyungsoo lets out a grunt. "Let's start."

In retrospect, Joonmyun should have really seen it coming, but he's still not prepared for when Yifan and Jongdae start on the hardcore sex scenes. In the back of his mind he'd known that this would be inevitable, but it doesn't lessen the fact that Jongdae sounds _really fucking hot_ moaning into the mic, face screwing up as his breathing hitches and his panting grows whinier.

It doesn't take long for the boner Joonmyun had somehow magicked away earlier to reappear with a vengeance, and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, draping his jacket over his lap. Meanwhile Yifan's grunting is somehow vaguely hilarious, so Joonmyun tries to focus on that instead of the quickly growing problem in his pants. But Jongdae's whining only gets worse, and Joonmyun's so fucking hard that it's difficult to think straight.

"Match the lips, match the lips," Kyungsoo's reminding them on his left, and Joonmyun furiously tugs on his collar. _How on earth is Kyungsoo still so calm and unaffected?_ he thinks desperately, just barely stopping his hand from brushing against his dick through his blazer.

Joonmyun chooses that moment to glance at the TV screen where the anime was playing in time to Jongdae and Yifan, and regrets it immediately—Hideki has Keita splayed out on his patient's chair, one leg propped up over his shoulder and ramming his hips relentlessly into Keita's leaking ass. Keita must have been close because suddenly Jongdae lets out a moan that's absolutely _sinful_ , his voice breaking on the higher pitch, and without thinking Joonmyun digs the heel of his palm into his crotch and then he's coming hard in his pants.

" _Shit_ ," he breathes, and glances to his left, heart thudding a violent tattoo into his ribcage. Kyungsoo hadn't noticed, still focused on adjusting the audio levels, and Joonmyun winces when he stands up.

"Where are you going?" Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at him, the studio headphones sliding down around his neck.

"Sorry," Joonmyun blurts out, and hates how high-pitched and fake his voice sounds. Jongdae's staring curiously at him from behind the glass, and Joonmyun hurriedly avoids his eyes. "Bad sushi."

"It's barely ten in the morning!" Kyungsoo calls crossly after him as Joonmyun shuffles out of the studio.

He ends up cleaning his mess up in the bathroom before hailing a cab back to his apartment to grab new pants. If Kyungsoo notices his change of clothing when he comes back an hour later, he doesn't say anything, and Joonmyun spends the rest of the day with his knees pressed resolutely together.

  
  


❖

It's later that night—much, _much_ later that night—does Joonmyun reach down to stroke himself in the shower, bottom lip caught between his teeth. The water spray pounds down hard on his back as he thumbs the head of his cock, eyes screwed shut against the tiled wall. It's only then that he allows himself a brief moment to imagine Jongdae, to imagine Jongdae's voice making those sweet, delicious sounds—and it's enough to have him gasping for breath in the privacy of his shower, hand working furiously on his dick.

He comes with a sharp exhale all over his fist, and he stands there for a few seconds to allow his breathing to even out before the guilt chases away the lingering aftershocks of his orgasm. Joonmyun thunks his head on the wall with a groan.

  
  


❖

Jongdae smiles brightly at him the next morning as he lets himself into the sound booth, and Joonmyun waves back feebly. He'd purposely let himself run twenty minutes late to avoid more small chat with Jongdae, and tries not to feel bad when Jongdae looks so excited to see him.

It's not that he disliked talking with him, really, it's just that Joonmyun could never be sure what topics of conversation would result in him popping another unwanted boner. Tiptoeing like this around Jongdae is more stressful that Joonmyun could have ever anticipated, as if it weren't hard enough to try to keep his dick calm during their recording sessions in the studio.

Joonmyun soon finds himself in a vicious cycle in which he spends his days in the studio torn between wanting to run to the bathroom and sitting tight in his chair where he hopes that no one will notice his erection, and then jacking off to the memory of Jongdae's voice later at home.

Every night, Joonmyun watches his jizz run down the drain, feeling like his shame was going down with it, but it won't stop him from doing it all over the next day.

Joonmyun wonders faintly when it'll stop.

  
  


❖

Joonmyun's locking up his office when Jongdae comes bounding down the hallway.

"Hyung, what are you up to now?"

His lips quirk in a small smile. Jongdae looks especially cute today in skinny jeans and converse, a reminder that he's only a kid, probably still in university. Why Joonmyun finds this so endearing, he can only push to the back of his mind and hope that it goes away.

"I'm just heading out," he tells him.

Recording had gone well that day—they'd finished their scenes ahead of schedule and had made decent headway into tomorrow's, and Joonmyun had been able to keep his hormones in check.

Jongdae nods, falling into step beside him. He's eating strawberry pocky, the end of the biscuit stick poking out of his mouth.

Joonmyun raises an eyebrow. "Is that all you ever eat? Japanese snacks that you may or may not hate?"

"What if I told you yes," Jongdae sticks his tongue out cutely, and Joonmyun snorts.

"That's so bad for you, Jongdae."

They enter the elevator, the crinkling of Jongdae's pocky wrapper loud in the small space. "If you're so worried about what I eat, then maybe you should buy me a proper meal."

When Joonmyun looks up, Jongdae's eyes are twinkling, and an odd feeling settles somewhere in his stomach. "Are you trying to get a free dinner out of me?"

Jongdae grins. "C'mon hyung, all you ever do is go home afterwards. Let's go eat seolleongtang."

Joonmyun's entirely prepared to tell him no, that he's tired, but then Jongdae gives him that bright, eager smile—one that tugs just _so_ at his heartstrings—and he knows he's lost. This is how Joonmyun finds himself in Sinsa buying dinner for Jongdae without really knowing how he got there.

" _Wah_ , hyung," Jongdae exclaims when their stew comes out. "Yours is so red!"

Joonmyun had opted for galbitang instead. "You want to try?"

Jongdae opens his mouth cutely. "Ahh~"

Joonmyun laughs, spooning it into his mouth. "Careful," he starts, about to warn against the temperature and the spice, but it's too late. Jongdae lets out the most miserable whine that shoots all over Joonmyun's body and curls up deep in his stomach. His skin breaks out into goosebumps as Jongdae fans his mouth furiously.

"Hot hot _hot_ ," Jongdae squeaks. "Hyung, it's hot!!"

Joonmyun bites his lip, forcing back the groan that somehow had surfaced from the back of his throat. "Here," he says, pouring a glass of water from the carafe. "Drink something."

Jongdae takes the cup gratefully and Joonmyun has to tear his eyes away from the way his throat works as he swallows it down. Something familiar stirs in his gut, but  Joonmyun pushes it back uncertainly.

They've been recording with Jongdae and Yifan for about two weeks now, with some of the minor voice actors stopping in every so often to do their minimal lines. It's been a surreal back and forth between watching Jongdae make absolutely sinful noises in the studio to being bright and bubbly the moment he steps outside. The switch from one to another is so dizzyingly abrupt that there's no time to completely adjust, and it's all Joonmyun can do to try to keep up.

It's moments of downtime like this that Joonmyun can almost feel himself being lulled into a complacency that he _knows_ is dangerous, but when Jongdae is beautiful and happy and smiling sweetly at him, it's easy for Joonmyun to forget that Kim Jongdae the Sex Voice ever existed and that he's not having all these conflicting feelings churning together in his stomach.

After eating, they end up wandering in and out of random tiny shops in the side streets of Sinsa, Joonmyun looking on with amusement as Jongdae flutters around excitedly.

"Hyung, look at this." Jongdae's waving him over to where he's holding something offensively pink and sparkly.

" _Jongdae_ ," Joonmyun starts, but he can feel himself softening with the way Jongdae's eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles, and he loses another piece of his heart to how Jongdae finds delight in the tiniest things.

"Look, it's so cute!" Jongdae holds out a phone charm. It's a small plastic star dusted with pink holographic glitter—horrifyingly cute and disgusting and yet at the same time so entirely _Jongdae_. "You should buy it!"

Joonmyun had been completely prepared to give some exasperated answer and tell Jongdae to put it down, but then Jongdae gives him this devastatingly hopeful face—all wide eyes and expectant smile—and all of Joonmyun's words die on his tongue. He sighs, reaching for his wallet. "How much?"

Jongdae hangs onto his arm the entire time Joonmyun's paying, and even after he pulls away Joonmyun can still feel the imprint of his fingers, warm and intimate, through his sports jacket.

"Here, you spoiled brat," Joonmyun shoves the paper bag into Jongdae's hands, but he's smiling in spite of himself. "I can't believe you just make me pay seven thousand won for a phone charm."

Jongdae looks down at the bag in his hands, obviously confused. "Hyung, why are you giving it to me? This is for you!"

"M-me?" Joonmyun splutters, nearly dropping it when Jongdae presses it back into his chest. "But Jongdae, I don't—"

"Why not?" Jongdae huffs, reaching down to drag Joonmyun out of the shop by his wrist. "It's cute and so are you! It matches."

It takes a moment before Jongdae's words sink in, and Joonmyun's body flushes with a soft heat. "I'm not cute," he insists, but Jongdae's not listening anymore, having already danced away to find another store to poke his head in.

Joonmyun sighs heavily, pulling out the phone charm. The pink plastic is clunky and some of the glitter flakes off into his fingers—definitely not worth the money he paid for it—but Joonmyun finds himself smiling regardless.

He shakes his head one more time before following Jongdae into the next shop.

  
  


❖

"What. The hell. Is _that_."

Joonmyun flushes deeply, trying to shove his phone back in his pocket before Kyungsoo can get a proper look, but he's too slow; Kyungsoo snatches Joonmyun's phone from out of his grip and gives him the kind of look that Joonmyun suspects God saves for only the most grievous of sinners.

"Joonmyun." Kyungsoo shakes it in his face and the plastic star rattles around, completely at odds with his phone's sleek brown leather casing. " _What_."

"Give it back," Joonmyun says testily, and this time Kyungsoo doesn't try to stop him from grabbing it. "I…. I liked it, okay."

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes at him and opens his mouth, but they're interrupted by a loud knock on the glass encasing the sound booth. They both look up to see Jongdae pressing himself to the window, beaming brilliantly and pointing to Joonmyun's phone.

"Hyung, you're using it!!" Jongdae's shouting excitedly to be heard through the glass. "I really didn't think you would!"

Joonmyun blushes even further, pointedly avoiding Kyungsoo's accusing stare, before giving Jongdae a small, tight smile and nodding.

Jongdae goes back to his place the mic looking extremely pleased with himself, and there's an odd clench in Joonmyun's chest. He'd honestly thought nothing of it earlier that morning when he decided to attach the phone charm, but seeing Jongdae looking so excited to see him use it makes him unexpectedly…. _happy_.

 _This doesn't mean anything_ , Joonmyun thinks firmly, repeating it in his head throughout the day's entire recording session even as Jongdae's voice winds its way into his brain like a drug and follows him home long after recording is done. _This doesn't mean anything_ , he continues to tell himself even when he's making furious pulls at his cock in the shower and Jongdae's moans are still echoing around in his head.

Joonmyun splatters all over the tile with a low gasp, and there's the familiar rush of _something_ that follows. It used to be guilt, but now Joonmyun's not sure.

 _This doesn't mean anything_ , is his final thought before curling up in bed. The sounds of Jongdae's laughter rings loudly in his ears.

 _Nothing at all_.

  
  


❖

"Jongdae." Joonmyun catches his arm before Jongdae can leave the studio, and the younger boy looks at him with questions marks in his eyes. "Listen, I was thinking. My friend Yixing is a manhwa artist, did I ever tell you?"

Jongdae's mouth forms a small 'O'. "No, you didn't. Is he famous? What has he drawn?"

Joonmyun lets go of his arm, scratching the back of his neck. It's just the two of them outside of the recording studio now, Kyungsoo and Yifan having brushed past them on their way out. "That's the thing. He's a new artist, but he just got his first manhwa published last week, and he's doing a signing. I was wondering…. well, it seemed like something you might be interested in."

Jongdae looks like Joonmyun'd told him Christmas had come early. "Really? That's okay if I go?"

"Yes," Joonmyun says meekly. "It's tonight, so I'm not sure if you could, given that it's so last minute, but—"

"I'd love to," Jongdae cuts in, grinning. "Just tell me where it's at, and I'll meet you."

Joonmyun had always known that Jongdae was eager, but he hadn't expected him to agree so readily. The idea to ask him to Yixing's signing was more a way for Joonmyun to try to stop seeing Jongdae as a sexual object, that maybe if Joonmyun gets to know him more as a person then maybe it'd put an end to all his wet dreams concerning the voice actor once and for all.

Still, Joonmyun finds himself standing outside the bookstore three hours later, somewhat in disbelief that Jongdae was actually going to meet him. This was strictly a friendship thing, Joonmyun was telling himself, because if Jongdae watched as much anime that he hinted he did, then perhaps he'd enjoy Yixing's manhwa as well, right?

"Hi hyung," Jongdae greets him. He looks nicer than when Joonmyun had left him outside the studio building, having changed into darker jeans that didn't have any rips and a button down shirt.

Joonmyun looks down at his own attire guiltily. He hadn't thought to dress up—it's only Jongdae, he had figured, and Yixing whom he'd known forever—but the fact that Jongdae did unnerved him as much as it pleased him. Joonmyun clears his throat uneasily.

"Well, let's go in, I guess?"

They find Yixing at a table set up in the corner of the store. There's a simple poster hanging next to him announcing his artist name and the title of his manhwa, but not much else to indicate that he was holding a fansigning other than the small line of people that Joonmyun and Jongdae join. Joonmyun can't help but smile at how little fanfare there was; Yixing had always been so modest.

The manhwa artist grins when he sees the two approach his table. "Joonmyun! I'm really glad you could make it."

Joonmyun picks up a copy of his manhwa and thumbs through it briefly, smiling at Yixing's distinctive minimalist art. "Of course. You know me, I'd never pass up the chance to say that I know a famous manhwa artist."

Yixing chuckles before signing a giant loopy "LAY" and adding way too many hearts. "I'm not famous, Joonmyun. At least not yet, anyway." He looks up at Jongdae hovering shyly behind Joonmyun. "Who's this?"

"I—oh." Joonmyun moves aside to let Jongdae walk up. "This is one of the voice actors from the studio. I thought he'd might be interested."

"Nice to meet you," Yixing greets, nodding placidly. "I hope you like romance."

"Kim Jongdae," Jongdae says shyly, offering a cute smile (Joonmyun ignores the way his belly flip flops). "I love romance, actually. What's your manhwa about?"

Yixing winks secretively. "It's about a man who discovers himself through love, music, and good karma," he explains. "He loves until he thinks he can love no more, until he picks up his guitar and finds more reasons to love again."

"That's really beautiful," Jongdae says softly. "I'm sure I'll enjoy it."

Yixing's smile grows more fond the longer Jongdae stands in front of him, and even Joonmyun is amazed at how quickly Jongdae had gotten Yixing to like him. The artist pushes the book back across the table. "I like him, Joonmyun. At least he appreciates a good love story."

Jongdae throws Joonmyun a curious look. "Hyung, you don't like love stories?"

Joonmyun flushes under the weight of both Yixing and Jongdae's gazes on him, and shakes his head. "Don't be silly, of course I can appreciate them."

Yixing gives him a knowing look but doesn't bring it up again while Jongdae and Joonmyun wait for him to finish up with the last few people in line.

"Thanks again for coming," he says, rolling up the fansign poster before turning to Jongdae. "It was nice to meet you. I hope you hang around Joonmyun more often, he could use it," Yixing finishes, eyes twinkling.

Jongdae winks back, ushering a protesting Joonmyun out of the shop. "I'll do my best!"

"Why does everyone insist on taking my social life into their own hands," Joonmyun says crossly once they're outside. "First Lu Han and then Yixing."

"It's because hyung needs to loosen up," Jongdae chirps, winding his arm through his. Joonmyun stiffens for a second before relaxing. "And I'm pretty good at making people loosen up."

Joonmyun smiles in spite of himself. "I take it you liked Yixing?"

Jongdae nods happily, biting at his lower lip. Joonmyun tries not to stare. "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, hyung."

They've reached the subway station where they were going to part ways, and Joonmyun's breath catches for a second when Jongdae's arm slips out of his.

"Well," he begins. The thing is that Joonmyun had not intended this night to be a date; in fact, he had been in a strictly non-date state of mind when he'd asked Jongdae in the first place. But this—the silence that floats thick between them, tense and alarming and wrought with questions—this says something otherwise, and for one terrifying second the only thing Joonmyun can think about is how easy it would be to lean in and kiss him. It's only when he sees the look on Jongdae's face, Jongdae looking back at him expectantly with wide, wide eyes does he stop himself.

Joonmyun clears his throat. "Well, good night."

For a brief moment he thinks there's disappointment on Jongdae's face, but he blinks and Jongdae grinning at him again. "Good night hyung."

Joonmyun watches Jongdae make his way down into the subway and stands there for minutes after Jongdae's back disappears from view. This night was supposed to clear things up for him, not make it worse. Joonmyun was supposed to feel free after this, not even more trapped.

But what he won't admit is that later that night he had snaked his hand underneath his sheets, every molecule in his body focused on the way Jongdae's fingers had felt pressing into his arm. It's this image that sends him over the edge, it's thinking of Jongdae lying next to him in his bed and Joonmyun's chest pressed up against his back that makes him come so hard he sees white behind his eyelids.

Joonmyun does not sleep for a long time after that.

  
  


❖

"Joonmyun, pay attention," Kyungsoo snaps, and Joonmyun startles out of his daze.

Kyungsoo gives him a dirty look. "I don't care how late you were up last night, but this is the final episode, Joonmyun. _Focus_."

Joonmyun scowls, propping his chin up with this hands. "Run it, then."

Through the window, Jongdae bites his lip. He keeps glancing over to where Joonmyun is sitting in the sound booth and Joonmyun tries not to feel bad. In the past few days following Yixing's fansign, Joonmyun had reverted to coming late in order to avoid Jongdae in the mornings. Kyungsoo must have noticed because he's been giving him shit attitude lately, but Joonmyun had decided to just deal with it because it's easier than trying to sort out what had changed between him and Jongdae that night.

The television is playing one of the last scenes in the series, the moment where Keita finally comes to terms with his and Hideki's relationship, however fucked up and twisted it might be. Joonmyun doesn't approve, but Yifan trying to put on a serious business tone is amusing enough for him to tune into the recording.

"No, I _don't_ hate you," Jongdae (Keita?) is mumbling into his microphone. "I really like you, actually. I—I like when we…. do things."

Joonmyun looks up from where he'd been staring at the production notes. Jongdae is looking at him directly now from behind his mic, and Joonmyun feels a wave of heat wash over his body as Jongdae continues reciting the entirety of his lines without his eyes ever leaving Joonmyun's face.

"I like being with you, Hideki-ssi," Jongdae (Keita ( _Jongdae?_ )) continues. "I want to be with you. I _want_ you to do those things to me. I… want _you_."

Joonmyun stands up abruptly. There's an odd ringing in his ears, the entire studio vanishing and leaving a numbness that suffuses a chill throughout his entire body. He can feel Jongdae's eyes still on him, but Joonmyun turns away.

"Wrap this up," he says numbly to Kyungsoo. "I'm going."

Kyungsoo's eyebrows fly up into his hairline, but he says nothing when Joonmyun grabs his coat and leaves the sound booth.

He doesn't turn back until he's safe in the confines of his office where he can put his head in his hands and try not to tear his hair out.

Why why why the fuck was this happening, Joonmyun thinks to himself desperately. This had started out as something purely physical, an instinctive reaction. This was supposed to be hormones, _chemicals_. For nights upon end Joonmyun had been going to bed with raging hard ons because Jongdae, as cute and adorable as he was, had a voice that spoke volumes of steamy nights, the stuff of wet dreams. This was supposed to have stopped there.

But something significant had just occurred back in that studio, and rather than feeling that familiar stir in between his legs, the stir that Joonmyun was feeling now was somewhere much _different_ , somewhere much more _terrifying_.

The door opens, and Joonmyun looks up.

Jongdae stands in his doorway looking incredibly small, his face a painful mixture of miserable and embarrassed. Before Joonmyun can say anything, Jongdae closes his eyes and bows ninety degrees.

"I'm sorry," Jongdae says to the floor, voice breaking on the apology, and that's when Joonmyun's heart breaks in two. "I'm so sorry, hyung. That was—so inappropriate—I shouldn't have done that."

They remain like that for a few seconds, Joonmyun sitting at his desk and Jongdae still bowed forward with his face hidden from view, before Joonmyun breaks the silence.

"Jongdae, look at me."

When Jongdae lifts his head looking lost and scared and beautiful, Joonmyun feels the stir again in his chest.

"I'm sorry hyung," Jongdae whispers. "I must have misunderstood."

Joonmyun stands up, wincing when Jongdae tries to take a step back. "What did you misunderstand?"

Jongdae bites his lip again, and Joonmyun is struck by how different he looks when he's not happy or cheerful. This Jongdae, fearful and uncertain and fragile—Joonmyun finds himself hating it with an alarming intensity. Joonmyun finds that he hates _himself_ even more.

"I don't know what I thought," Jongdae mumbles quietly. "I just—I thought you liked me too."

 _Liked me too_. And all at once Jongdae's lines flash into his head; Keita's confession, all the subtle touches, the constant look of adoration and respect in Jongdae's eyes whenever he was around Joonmyun—it all slams into him at the same time and now the clenching of his heart is too prominent to ignore any longer.

Joonmyun's almost scared that if he takes another step towards him that Jongdae will turn around and run out, but Jongdae remains rooted to the spot as he walks over, watching him instead with scared eyes.

"You confuse me," Joonmyun tells him plainly. "One moment you're cute and cheerful, and the next moment I feel like I'm going to hell because of the way you sound in the studio. I don't understand how your love for pink or Japanese snacks, yet at the same time you love anime and will go with me to a fan event for a manhwa you've never heard of. You're _frustrating_.

"But," Joonmyun adds in, and this is when he reaches down to grab at Jongdae's hands where they'd been lying, shaking, at his sides. "I like it. I like all of it."

"Really?" Jongdae's voice is barely above a whisper. "You're not making it up?"

Joonmyun squeezes his palms. "If I told you I liked you back, what would you say?"

Jongdae's eyes search his face for a long time. He does not squeeze back, but Joonmyun doesn't let go. "If you did," he says finally. "I'd say prove it."

And so Joonmyun does.

The first kiss tastes like relief, like all the clean, sparkling water in the world had been given to him when he'd been standing in a desert. Joonmyun's hands come up to cup at Jongdae's face when he pulls back, and his eyes search him again.

"You can't lie about this, hyung," Jongdae says breathlessly. "This is all or nothing for me."

Joonmyun's thumb strokes across the pink of Jongdae's lips. They're just as soft as he'd imagined them to be. "I'm not the voice actor here, I can't lie that convincingly."

The last thing he sees before Jongdae kisses him again is his face breaking out into a huge smile, and their second, third, and fourth kisses get a thousand times better with each time they pull apart for air.

It's then in Joonmyun's office that he makes an important discovery. It's then when Jongdae's sitting splayed across Joonmyun's lap—the two of them perched precariously on top of his desk and Joonmyun's hand already deep in Jongdae's underwear—does he realize that he'd been completely wrong. Jongdae, when flushed and flustered and about thirty seconds from coming, when panting soft and breathy into Joonmyun's mouth and tightening his fingers in Joonmyun's blazer, sounds completely different from what he'd been playing in his head on endless loop for the past month and a half. He's quieter, clingier, his moans more subdued and pressed to the back of his throat. And when Jongdae finally comes, spilling all over the ring of Joonmyun's fingers, it's not with a shout or with a scream of pleasure, it's with a small whine that Joonmyun easily swallows down.

But this, Joonmyun thinks as Jongdae sits shaking in his lap, Jongdae's arms going around his neck to guide their mouths together for another messy kiss, is infinitely sexier because this is real. This isn't voice acting, and no one else would ever get to hear Jongdae like this, gorgeous and breathtaking and falling apart in his hands.

This was all Joonmyun's, this was all for him.

This would be—if he could help it—solely his forever.

  
  


❖

"So, hyung." Jongdae's lips brush the shell of his ear when he leans in to whisper. "You still owe me."

Joonmyun's arms snake around Jongdae's waist, tugging him close until they were pressed up tight against each other under the covers of Joonmyun's bed. Jongdae's skin is warm. "What do I owe you?"

Jongdae links their fingers over Joonmyun's heart. "My Starbucks muffin," and when he pulls back he's all smiles.

Joonmyun finds himself laughing before he can stop it, and he squeezes Jongdae's hand back _hard_.

"Okay. Let's go."


End file.
